My PhD Journey: From uncertainty to empowerment

In this blog for Black History Month, Nysha Givens, a postgraduate student pursuing a doctorate in education, shares the story of their own educational journey, with support from the That's Me Project.

My PhD journey has been unconventional in many ways. To begin with, I’m pursuing an EdD (Doctor of Education), a Professional Doctorate, rather than a traditional PhD. This path started when I first joined the University of Wolverhampton in 2014, seeking a way out of a career rut that had left me disheartened and frustrated.

Back then, I was a Teaching Assistant at a well-known college in Birmingham, but I felt stagnant and unfulfilled. The culture of the institution prioritised management hierarchies over student welfare, and I had no desire to move up the ranks. My aspirations were more aligned with supporting and empowering students. A colleague suggested I consider the University of Wolverhampton, mentioning an inspiring lecturer whose approach made a lasting impression on me. That lecturer was Dr Pete Bennett.

A turning point: rediscovering passion in education

When I started attending evening lectures with Pete, I was struck by how different his teaching style was. He arranged the room in a circle, emphasising collaboration and mutual respect, instead of positioning himself at the front. Pete wasn’t just there to impart knowledge — he was there to empower us. His enthusiasm rekindled my passion for learning, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I belonged in education again.

However, life threw me a curveball. I became seriously ill, and work pressures mounted, causing my health to deteriorate further. By 2017, I received an email stating I had to complete my BA in Post-Compulsory Education that year or risk failing. This triggered a wave of anxiety and self-doubt, but Pete once again stepped in, guiding me through my dissertation. Despite numerous hospital visits and constant health struggles, I managed to finish the program and was awarded a 2:1 and the David Wise Memorial Award for overcoming adversity.

Beyond the BA: taking a leap into a Master’s programme

After completing my BA, I turned to Pete again, asking, “What now?” His response was simple: “Do your Master's.” My initial reaction was disbelief. “People like me don’t do Master's,” I said. Pete challenged this mindset, asking, “What do you mean, people like you?” This moment made me confront my own self-limiting beliefs, and despite my doubts, I enrolled in the MA in Professional Practice and Lifelong Education (MA PPLE).

The first few months were daunting. I struggled with imposter syndrome, especially being surrounded by peers who seemed far more experienced and confident. But then something remarkable happened: we formed a tight-knit group, encouraging and supporting one another. Our motto became “nemo resideo - no man left behind”. We navigated the complexities of online learning during the pandemic, with a dedicated WhatsApp group keeping us connected.

Supportive mentors and new perspectives

During the MA, I had the privilege of being taught by Lou Curry, who introduced me to the transformative work of bell hooks. Lou saw potential in me that I hadn’t yet recognised, pushing me to think critically and engage more deeply. Later, I met Howard Scott and Victoria Wright, who continued to challenge and encourage me. Victoria introduced me to autoethnography, a research methodology that deeply resonated with me, allowing me to integrate personal narrative into academic inquiry.

Completing the MA with a Merit was an incredible achievement, especially considering the overwhelming challenges I faced that year. During my studies, I contracted COVID-19 pneumonia, which left me severely ill and fighting for my life. I spent weeks recovering, physically weakened and unable to focus on my coursework. I was hit with another devastating blow - the passing of my grandmother. Losing her was heart breaking, and the grief made it difficult to concentrate, let alone produce quality academic work. Balancing my health struggles and profound loss while trying to complete the rigorous requirements of my MA felt nearly impossible. Yet, despite everything, I persevered. But once again, I was at a crossroads. I returned to Pete, who nonchalantly suggested, “Do your doctorate.” It seemed unimaginable at the time, but I took his advice and applied. 

Embarking on the doctoral journey: Overcoming new challenges

Initially, I aimed for a PhD, but I struggled to find my focus. That’s when Lou Curry introduced me to Dr Linda Devlin and Dr Julie Wilde, who recommended the Professional Doctorate in Education (EdD). Nervous and unsure, I attended my interview with them, only to be met with warmth and support. Julie set me a task - to network more. At the time, I thought I didn’t need to network and knew everyone I needed to, but I was soon proven wrong.

With encouragement from Julie, I joined the Learning Support Research Network (LSRN) and attended their conference in April 2023. There, I was welcomed by Dr Lou Mycroft, someone whose work I had cited during my MA. This experience, along with the connections I made, shattered my remaining doubts and made me realise that I did belong in this academic community.

Building a supportive network and pushing boundaries

Starting the first year of my Professional Doctorate in October 2023 came with its share of doubts and tears, but I was never alone. With guidance from Dr Pete Bennett, Dr Linda Devlin, Dr Julie Wilde, Dr Howard Scott, Dr Gurpinder Lalli, and Prof Diana Bannister, I began finding my place. Their unwavering support has pushed me to achieve things I never imagined. By December 2024, I will have:

• presented at 12 conferences internationally and nationally,
• contributed to 2 collaborative book chapters, 1 solo chapter, and a set of closing remarks,
• selected out of 66 applications to take part in the BERA Early Career Researchers Mentoring Scheme – for my commitment to education,
• been awarded Student of the Month by the Doctoral College.

Looking ahead: If not now, then when?

This journey has taught me the power of having people who believe in you, even when you don’t believe in yourself. As I enter my second year, I hold on to my personal motto: “If not now, then when? If not me, then who?” With each new step, I’m reminded that perseverance, mentorship, and community are key ingredients to success.

My story is not just about academic achievement - it’s about overcoming adversity, challenging self-doubt, and finding purpose in the journey itself. If there’s one takeaway, it’s this: sometimes, the most significant growth happens when you least expect it, guided by those who see the potential in you long before you can see it in yourself.